Tell me what you think?

now baby, im the kinda lady


the kind you wanna love, but i aint shady


im a special kinda dime


you gotta be worth my time


rockin the shoes the skirt


you know i can flirt


but that was when i was single


when i was lookin for a guy, set to mingle


not exactly the thing you'll expect


cuz sweetie im gonna be better than that


but listen when i gotta man i stay dedicated


give you my time and effort if you made it


made it to the next round, the next level of my heart


thats when i know i dont wanna be apart


when i give you my heart, my soul


recognize ill be here to console


so i met you and fell so in love


and you have a place in my heart where no one is above


without you realize there is no song


baby understand that i wont wanna do you wrong


understand your my inspiration


when i gave you who i am, there was no hesitation


no second guessing i wanted to be yours


still do, with you wanna open the doors


to a new lifestyle where ill never be alone


where whenever im with you ill feel just at home.

Tell me what you think?
This is a great poem,but for a song you need a chorus also.Possibly a lift or bridge too.Songs are basically meant to fit in a 3-4 minute slot on the radio.Try to fit your song into this range.I don't mean to be critical of your work but I am a published songwriter who went through h*ll trying to "make it".A great place for you to start would be N.S.A.I (National Songwriters Association International).They have literature on songwriting that is very helpful and also a critiquing service for your demos.Please don't be offended n keep on writing..................also,ALWAYS copyright your work.I learned the hard way n had songs stolen.I was younger then but now I copyright everything.Good luck to you............
Reply:Eh..
Reply:I love it! it's straght forward and easy to understand. You're really good, do you write poetry or do you only do lyrics. Your veru talented and you should explore the artistic side of life.
Reply:cute
Reply:thats really good, u should publish it!! it sounds like a pro made it.!!!***
Reply:quite cheesie...
Reply:I love it, it is such a cute song. it reminds me of something I could hear on the radio. It sounds like it is something I would sing! Do ya mind if I sing it a wedding? PLEASE, It would be a cute song to sing. Thx
Reply:thats awesome!


u should make a chorus too and split that into 3 verses.
Reply:I like it thats really good. can I put that on my myspace page?
Reply:kinda reminds me of this song:


www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rGk1Km-M5M








who wrote that song that you posted?
Reply:I like it! Sing it to your boyfriend! ♥♥♥



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